And on the night after your birthday, I remember you told me that you loved me, how you did all along, and I had nothing to reply back. I was speechless. I didn’t expect your feelings to have grown so strong.

Honestly, I did not want you to love me. I knew that I could not love you back in that way, and I felt terrible about it.

You were such a good guy to me…too good, which ended up being bad because let’s face it – I’m a total bitch. I don’t know what made you stay with me for almost 6 months of dating.

Thank you though. A huge thank you for the past six months. It was the first time I kind of felt in a mature relationship.

Maybe it’s because you’re four years older than I am, that being in a fraternity made me think you had some kind of bad boy image. You’d take me out to parties/drinking nights with your friends, and I loved that because it made me feel like you were actually proud of having me. You’d spoil me with nice dates at restaurants, flowers, random movie nights, and your presence.

You’re not my type (physically I mean), but I’m glad I gave us a try. I really did try loving you, but it was so hard when I didn’t love me. When you loved a broken piece of me “still” trying to find myself back. You probably loved me more than you loved yourself and that’s the scary part. You reminded me of the old me, the one who didn’t save any love for herself.

That’s why it was so easy to let you go.

I was unfair – I always was. I knew that I didn’t deserve you. I didn’t want to belong to one person again. I wanted to be free and independent, and that’s what I’m doing.

Thank you though, for loving me with all you had.

Originally written on August 17, 2015